Day 93. You don’t have to be Grigory Perelman to work out that equates to one more week of this pitching malarkey. And, effectively, my twenties. Yup, over the hill in under a week and hopefully more mature and less inclined to make ridiculously public declarations of intent like this here blog. Hopefully this also means conversations can return to normal, rather than:
Person: so how’s that pitching thing going?
Me: look, there’s a squirrel!
Perhaps I can return to decent night’s sleep rather than leaping out of bed remembering I haven’t pitched, or waking bolt upright in the middle of the night with what seems like a brilliant idea (on closer inspection of the scribbled notes in the morning, it always manages to disappoint). Maybe I can bring my laptop back into the bedroom after it was banned following an accusation that I loved it more than my bedfellow. No comment.
Those with keen powers of observation may also have noticed its been a record gap of 20 days between posts. Whilst my pitching began with gusto, in these dying days of the experiment the process has become somewhat tepid. In fact, it has reflected my standard system when approaching any major deadline, particularly one I care about: Denial. Absolute unashamed, unbridled procrastination. It’s an art, I tells ya. (It really is: in a twisted and perverse psychological sense this self-sabotage is actually very clever: if you fail, you can blame lack of preparation, if you nail it, you’re a genius – you didn’t even prepare).
There have been a couple of sporadic bursts of action since we spoke last. I did have a quasi-epiphanic moment regarding travel journalism. Surely, after professional footy, this is the greatest scam in the working world: get paid to do what everyone else pays to do. I’m still very much in the sucker category, with large travel debts from spending the last decade gallivanting around the globe. As such, I haven’t been able to plan travel anywhere very word-worthy lately, excluding me from this kind of writing. Until it occurred to me I could dust off the old emails and write about the places I’d already been. So a few pitches went off in this vain – authentic family yurt experiences in Mongolia, catching the ferry from Stockholm to Tallin, a local’s guide to Goa, and how to buy a coffee plantation on the cheap in Columbia.
I also decided in these last couple of weeks of accountable, enforced pitches that they might as well be about something I’ve always wanted to know about. A long laundry list later, I shortlisted 3 or 4 burning topics, which will kill two self-serving birds with one stone if commissioned: advice on buying a vintage car, microfinancing for dummies and one on the social implications of men-only detention centres from next year (admittedly, I only realised I wanted to know about this on Tuesday, but its burning nonetheless).
And this week, I’m setting myself the greatest challenge so far. The mother of all procrastination pitches: a pitch to the mag I want to write for the most. I’ve been waiting until the end so I could send them a dazzling portfolio of published pieces, but in the absence of those it will just have to be a cracker of an idea. The magazine is Frankie, and I’ve been putting it off because I want to get it just right – they have a really specific style (intelligent, witty, irreverent) and their writers (especially Marieke Hardy and Benjamin Law) are my heroes. The idea itself has not been forthcoming, but I’m hoping to change that tonight over a brainstorming workshop with friends. They’re under the impression it’s a birthday dinner but such is the necessary duplicity of the budding writer.













Day #25: Quarter time at the pitch
13 AugWell, it’s quarter time here at the pitch and a big thanks to all those still reading, to those who’ve shouted out (especially Valerie Khoo here) and those who’ve been commenting, old muckers and strangers alike. A comment at the foot of a post is akin to a virtual pot of tea & a Mint Slice, as any blogger will testify, and has spurred me on to drop my some of my own remarks off across the blogosphere.
Work has been utter chaos this week* and with stress levels at fever pitch, inspiration for pitch fever was as dry as a nun’s nasty. I turned to my mate Ange (quite the wordsmithette) for some pitching ideas, and got this response:
“….If anyone boasts a wealth of unutilised random knowledge as a result of experience, it’s you. Pitch to women’s health mags about a girl’s journey from wheezing Splendour aficionado to City2Surf veteran in less than 6 days; or to natural health & naturopathy publications about the hilarity of colonic irrigation and how IBS interferes with a girl’s enjoyment of the Sydney dining scene; or to Dog Owners Monthly about what every aspiring dog owner/couple should know before using them as training wheels for kids; or to Wheels magazine with a story about when a scooter becomes less of a love than a liability; or to anyone that will listen, how the theory of Saturn’s Return does or does not apply to the fabulous women whose psyches you have the privilege of dissecting….. or (sic) come to think of it, perhaps you could pitch to some painfully artsy & pretentious cultural journal a story about participation and investment in the Sydney theatrical arts scene amongst the cynical-and-successful almost-30 crowd….”
Without wanting to elaborate too much on anything mentioned above (for your sake as well as my colon’s), the woman has a point. Draw from life’s rich bounty of experiences and write about what you know. It’s sure to make the writing richer and the pitch more credible.
I’ve oft-lamented my position as a Jacqueline of all trades (except wallet retention) and a master of none (except cheese toasties) but perhaps these broad skill sets could come in handy as a features writer. As such I decided to add to Angela’s helpful list of things I might know a thing or two about…
Gratuitous image of Captain Kirk
So that’s what the last few days and the coming couple will consist of: pitching from the road more travelled. One off to NETT magazine today on selecting the right business partner, and a couple earlier in the week on the rise of chicks on bikes & how to go about getting licensed (to Cosmo) and the rising importance of culture and wellbeing in staff retention (to, yawn, HR Leader).
In other news, Australian traveller responded with “amazing idea” (see pitch here) but they’re sans editor until mid-September, so I’m on the backburner till then. Impatiently, was tempted to flog the same idea to a couple of other rural travel rags like Coast & Country and Get Up and Go (for the more ‘mature’ traveller) but this one’s the queen of domestic travel, so I’m going to sit on it. I’ve also got a couple of meetings lined up, one about ongoing work with Pagesdigital (woohoo!) and a coffee with the founder of one of my favourite independent urban online review publications, Concrete Playground. I bypassed pitching an idea to these guys, whose target market is the ‘culturally curious’ and instead just pitched myself (as ‘one of those annoying friends constantly cajoling people into accompanying me to random events and discoveries’).
A sad state of affairs
But still no word back since the initial email from Yoga journal, despite an outpouring of offers of interview contacts (thanks Duncs, Laura & Sharpie) and perhaps more harrowingly, my hairdresser from Wagga won’t return my calls for an interview. Furthermore, its Friday night, and I’m at home encased in flannelette with nought but a laptop to keep me company, and a Salada with cheese for dinner. All this dejection and rejection could send a woman to the drink. And that’s precisely where she intends to be sent.
* All will be revealed at 4pm on Monday
Tags: blog comments, dejection, inspiration, no editor, returning calls, Sydney swans, writing what you know